Hee Hee Hee
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Opinions
are like assholes; everyone's got one.
(Well known saying)
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If
you're living like there's no God...you'd better be
right.
(This
was on a bumpersticker I saw. It cracked me up)
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"There
is no gravity, the earth just sucks."
(Novelization
of The Goonies by James Khan)
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If you
think about something at three o'clock in the morning,
and then again at noon the next day, you get different
answers.
(Charles Schulz "It's
All Yours, Snoopy" 1971)
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If you
can't beat 'em, arrange to have them beaten.
(George Carlin,
"BrainDroppings")
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"No
comment" is a comment.
(George Carlin,
"BrainDroppings")
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The
first rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging.
(Molly Ivans, 8/93)
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You
can't have everything. Where would you put it?
(Stephen Wright, -RD)
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Be
nice to nerds. Chances are, you'll end up working
for one.
(Charles Sykes-RD)
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A
racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand
people for a ride at the same time.
(Marjorie Johnson -RD)
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Let
the wind blow through your hair while you still have
some.
(Dave Weinbaum -RD)
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Raising
kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
(Ed Asner -RD)
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Mobile
phones are the only subject on which men boast about
who's got the smallest.
(ROFL...Neil Kinnock,
British Politician -RD)
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It is
better to give children a rule to break than to give them
no rules at all.
(Tipper Gore, Time -RD)
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Cleaning
your house while your kids are still growing is like
shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
(Phyllis Diller -RD)
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In the
courtroom, whoever tells the best story wins.
(From Amistad -RD)
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If my
trunk was that small, I wouldn't draw attention to
myself.
(Manny, in "Ice
Age")
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There
are only two truly infinite things, the universe and
stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe.
(Albert Einstein)
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'Tis
better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak
and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
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How True!!
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Cynicism
is not realistic and tough. It's unrealistic and
kind of cowardly because it means you don't have to try.
(Peggy Noonan in Good
Housekeeping,-RD)
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The
squeaky wheel may get the oil, but it is also the first
to be replaced.
(I love this quote)
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There
would be no harmony if everyone sang the same note.
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The
woods would be silent if only the best birds sang.
(I am sure I have misquoted
this, but the gist is the same)
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It's a
wise person who knows the difference between free speech
and cheap talk.
(Doug
larson, United Feature Syndicate)
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Tortuing
one animal is cruelty...but torturing many animals is
science?
(bumper sticker)
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Those
who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear
the music.
(George Carlin
"BrainDroppings)
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If you
haven't got charity in your heart, you've got the worst
kind of heart trouble.
(Bob Hope, 8/59)
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The
man who has no imagination has no wings.
(Muhammed Ali, 3/87)
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Always
do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest.
(Mark Twain, 4/35)
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Developing
the mind is important, but developing a conscience is the
most precious gift parents can give their children.
(John Gray, Children Are
From Heaven -RD)
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It's
not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving
them more to avoid confrontation.
(John Gray, Children Are
From Heaven -RD)
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When a
man is all wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small
package.
(John Ruskin -RD...why do so
many of these guys have "John" for a first
name, anyway?)
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Usefulness
is not impaired by imperfection. You can drink from a
chipped cup.
(Greta K. Nagel -RD)
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Live
your life in the manner that you would like your kids to
live theirs.
(Micheal Levine, Lessons at
the Halfway point -RD)
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Every
fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop
a wise man from trying.
(Harry Anderson)
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Never
pay attention to what critics say. Remember, a statue has
never been set up in honor of a critic.
(Jean Sibelius)
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It is
amazing how complete the delusion that beauty is
goodness.
(Leo Tolstoy)
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Don't
part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may
still exist, but you have ceased to live.
(Mark Twain)
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Creativity
is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing
which ones to keep.
(Scott Adams)
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Every
child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an
artist once he grows up.
(Pablo Picasso)
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